The hardest part of leaving the hospital was the fear of regret and the fear of what will come next. Am I going to able to pay for my rent? Are future bosses going to reject me, because I stopped following the pre drawn path? Especially because you find yourself whirling 24/7 with no time to truly escape and clear your mind, it is hard to come up with alternative plans and ideas. There is no muse. You forget what else is there.

Another big deal is that in medicine it is still not very common, nor very accepted to follow your own dream or even have non conforming ideas. From the very beginning of studies, even already in high school, you have to be ambitious, look up in the ladder of hierarchy and do the work, other people want you to do. Maybe you wanted to become a professor and to get promotion you deep dived into the world of intracellular signaling pathway molecules and their specific effect on a single receptor sub-unit expression. I am not saying this is a bad thing. But not everybody is happy with this. Once you get lost, it becomes hard to see the bigger picture.

Colleagues, friends and family might not always be supportive either. Your parents might have been so proud and happy that you became a successful doctor. They might be worried about your future and what will happen to you in 30 years. Society still sees you as a smart, good and probably rich person and gives you status points wherever you go. Do you really want to give up on this? Unfortunately sometimes it is hard to hear our inner voice and listen.

Here is what I learned so far:

1. If you find yourself unhappy with the situation, do not wait too long. Change. Dare. Stop, escape and do something else for a while. You will see the sky clears up and there will be endless possibilities. Usually you will be able to go back, if you really want to.
2. Don’t be scared about not finding a job at all. You will.
3. Reflect on what you liked and loved in the past. How did you enjoy vacations? What made you happy as a child? Try to generate crazy ideas even if they seem impossible to realize. Start dreaming again.
4. Be open and honest about your ideas and fears, even if you feel bad about it or it might lead to rejection. Try. You will learn from it anyway. And other people should fit into your picture too.
5. Get in touch with people. Casual communication became very easy and convenient in the digital ages. Most people will appreciate your interest. And if they don’t – who cares?
6. Meet people in person. There is a lot more in communication than (written) words.
7. Don’t think too much. Try to avoid negative predicting thoughts. Just do it and enjoy the experience.
8. Read my stories to get inspiration and share your experiences with me if you made some. I am happy to talk and share them here too.